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Divorcing Women Essentials: 5 Questions to Tackle Before You Go to Court

It seems that with the pandemic raging, America’s propensity for divorce has more than doubled. But it’s not just the U.S. that’s experiencing more couples splitting up, more and more countries post up a record number of divorces. We’re talking about the UK, Sweden, and even China.

No doubt the virus is putting a heavier burden on our personal relationships than before. Pundits detail that the reasons couples separate may not have changed. But during the pandemic, there is a greater focus on domestic arrangements as we are forced to stay indoors. Add to the mix the mental health issues that have piled up ever since we were told to stay in place and everything looks like a powder keg waiting to explode.

Hold your horses, however, if you’re planning to get a divorce from your husband and go to court these days. While it’s definitely within your prerogative to do so, you may have to think it through before taking the leap. As you may know by now, most divorces spell trouble for everyone, your children including.

Considering the following questions should help you carve greater success into your planned separation, not to mention do away with crocodile tears and untold sorrow.

What were you arguing about?

It’s important not to make mountains out of hills in a separation. Going to court to get a divorce is a protracted process where neither of you may have the final say in the outcome. It’s up to a stranger. As much as judges are of the highest caliber, their judgments can fall short of what each of you really wants.

So if the contentious issues are minor, going to court may not be the best idea. For instance, if the issue is you’re not agreeing on how much should the spousal support be or how many days should the shared custody for each of you, then sitting down and discussing things calmly can be the better solution. And that’s exactly why divorce mediation is spot on. With a competent legal mediator, you can amicably discuss options and arrive at a workable solution at a faster pace.

However, if the issues are bigger than that,  then litigation may be your best option. For one, if you disagree on whether spousal support is necessary then it’s another story altogether. Or if your husband wants to have sole custody of your children.

Take note that not only litigation will bleed you of cash but also it’s a stressful, proactive process that’s bound to make you more miserable by the day.

Are you ready to spend time and money on the trial?

Another key essential is the tremendous amount of money you may lose to pursue a divorce via litigation. You could even lose more money on the trial than the money you lose if you agree to your partner’s terms from the onset, as hard to accept as they may seem. Plus, it’s entirely possible for you to get a deal in court that’s far disadvantageous than what your hubby would have agreed to had you discussed things.

It’s best you weigh things before you go to court. In a way, it’s a battle of wills and more often than not, both you and your husband may feel like you’re getting the shorter end of the stick.

child near his arguing parents

Are you ready for all the stress?

Best friend, best enemy. Those words could apply in a divorce proceeding. As you know each and every little detail about your hubby and your hubby also appears the same, you’re going to pour everything you got into the court to get what you want.

Needless to say, that kind of tug-of-war can be detrimental to your well-being. It’s bound to affect your inner peace. Think about it. A public trial may be the last thing you and your children need. The much-talked-about divorce of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard is a classic example.

Are you willing to let a stranger decide your outcome?

To a large extent, divorce bound to be a roll of the dice. You really can’t decide who your judge will be. And even the best judges in the world will have their own biases and apprehensions. The sad truth is you will have to accept the judge’s decision as final even when it’s not to your advantage. If not, then you can go through the process again of appealing which is subject to a very strict deadline filing.

How about your emotions?

It’s best you take a breather and assess things not from the emotional perspective but from a practical one. To boot, ask your lawyer how much will a litigation case cost you. Multiply that amount thrice. Now, list all the assets you may be due. If the amount is smaller, then you should know it may not be worth it.

Of course, if you’re dealing with a wife-beater or a narcissist husband, it’s a different story altogether.

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