3 Most Important Questions to Ask Before Getting a Divorce

wife and husband doodles in divorce process concept broken relationshipsThe first few months or years of your marriage is usually filled with excitement. You and your partner could be looking forward to buying your first home or having a baby. But things start to change later on and before you know it, you find yourself arguing frequently with your partner. And one day, you wake up and realize that you’re no longer happy.

According to the American Psychological Association, about 40-50% of married couples in the US end up in divorce. Irreconcilable differences and falling out of love are just some of the reasons couples decide to split. If you’re in a difficult situation and thinking about divorce, don’t make an overnight decision. Remember that it takes days to process and evaluate because the decision will greatly affect you and your entire family.

The Burnham Law Firm, P.C. notes that one of the first things you should do is consult with divorce lawyers in Boulder. This way, you will know your rights and be familiar with the legal process. Once you’re clear with the legalities, ask yourself these questions before making a final decision:

Do you still love your partner?

Some people keep thinking that they still love their partner, but what they really feel is pity disguised as love. But if you feel genuine love for your partner, you may have to think twice before letting go because you can’t lose someone you deeply care about.

Are you getting a divorce out of spite?

If you want to cut the marriage just because of your pride or resentment, you better pull over and meditate. Give yourself time to heal before saying the final word.

Can you handle the consequences?

Just imagine being severed from a person whom you’ve been with for years. Your life will change and everything from your work to your sanity will be affected. It may be temporary, but ask yourself if it’ll be all worth it in the end.

Getting divorced is a big decision, which is why you need to be careful. Use all the help you can get to understand the situation and learn about your legal options.

Alimony: Things You Need to Know About Spousal Support

Alimony written on an envelope with dollars.Spousal support, along with other legal family matters, can be peacefully settled by both parties. However, significant issues like this usually need professional help by a compassionate lawyer who considers the best interest of both parties and the family.

According to Smith Horton Law, the importance of seeking professional help comes in when a legal issue begins to affect the family adversely. Unlike child support, alimony computation doesn’t have “worksheets” and depends on the state’s laws.

Who Qualifies for Alimony

Alimony is financial support granted by the supporting spouse to a dependent spouse for his/her maintenance. The recipient may get the spousal support monthly or in a lump sum. Apart from this, alimony may also include the transfer of title or possession of personal property.

Various states operate on different statutes. However, The Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act, a basis used by the majority, states the following factors in granting alimony:

  • The age and the physical, emotional, and financial condition of the parties
  • The length of time the dependent spouse would need to be self-sufficient
  • And the ability of the supporting spouse to provide for the dependent while still being able to support himself or herself

Recent statistics show that 97% of 400,000 alimony recipients are women. But today’s cultural shifts see more female breadwinners, more wage-earning couples, and more male alimony recipients. Spousal support laws and guidelines have kept up with the times and address this legal matter beyond gender roles.

Why the Need for Spousal Support

In most cases, there will be a spouse who is more financially stable or earns more than the other. The existence of a dependent spouse takes place when one spouse gives up his/her career to invest time in taking care of the family.

Disparities happen when a spouse with higher earning power eventually replaces some or all of the assets, while the dependent spouse will resort to asset liquidation. Alimony comes in and levels this kind of inequality.

Remarriage and Cohabitation

The rules of alimony change in the case of one or both spouses remarrying or finding new life partners.

A dependent spouse’s financial support can meet termination once he/she moves in with a new partner. This is also the case if the dependent spouse commits illicit sexual behavior, then the supporting spouse will be free of financial responsibilities. However, if the supporting spouse commits such acts, then the court awards alimony to the dependent.

Above are only some things one needs to know when considering filing for alimony. Since different states operate under various laws, experts advise to be vigilant and seek the help of a professional.

Grounds for Divorce: Accepting Faults and Moving On

Divorce Lawyer in HoustonSo you’ve had it. You give up. You remember three years ago when you said your I Do’s in The Bell Tower in Houston. The world seemed brighter and nothing else seemed to matter but the both of you.

Fast forward three years later, you realized you married so young and so soon. You thought it was the right thing to do back then, but now you decide it’s finally time to move on.

The process of divorce is chaotic. You would have to get an experienced divorce lawyer to help you get through it. You must also know the grounds for divorce before you do anything rash.

Insupportability or Living Apart

Insupportability occurs when the marriage cannot be fixed as it is no longer healthy and has caused many disagreements. Living apart, on the other hand, is when the couple has lived separately without cohabitation for at least three years.

Adultery or Abandonment

Adultery is when your spouse cheats on you. It’s vital that the person declaring the grounds for divorce has ample evidence to prove that his or her spouse committed adultery.

Abandonment is when the spouse clearly intended to abandon the relationship and has been away for a minimum of one year.

Confinement in a Mental Hospital, or Cruelty

Confinement in a mental hospital is valid when, during the filing of the divorce, the spouse has been confined to the institution for at least three years. This is also applicable if there is no potential improvement from the mental disorder and, if he or she does improve, there is a potential relapse.

Conviction of Felony

This is when there’s felony imprisonment for at least one year and if there's no pardon. However, this won’t be valid if you testified against your spouse, which put him in prison.

Marriage is a major step, but divorce is an even bigger one. It is a decision you won’t get back. Ensure that you’ve done everything you can to try and resolve any conflict before making any decisions. 

Frustrated Wives and Why they Hate World of Warcraft

Frustrated WiveMost couples argue about the usual: money and constant miscommunication. Marriages suffer when husband and wife don’t get along with finances and how they talk. But a study also reveals another marriage wrecker: World of Warcraft (and other video games).

Wives with husbands addicted to ‘real’ world games such as World of Warcraft know the struggle. Their love for the game triggers countless arguments about dirty dishes and lack of quality time together. As a result, more women file for divorce because their husbands spend too much time playing video games.

What Studies Say

The Mail Online reports that of those wives who cite unreasonable behavior for ending their marriage, 15 percent insisted that their partners prioritized gaming more than the relationship. Disgruntled women blame the World of Warcraft’s platform, which allowed their husbands to create characters for mythical adventures. In terms of Call of Duty, gamers can unleash their inner gunman in different war zones.

It’s no secret that wives are not big fans of these games. These games have also faced major criticism in the past because of its addictive nature. In fact, some players reveal that World of Warcraft is more addictive than drugs.

The Home Wrecking Games

A study from Divorce Online reveals that Call of Duty and World of Warcraft are the top causes for divorce due to video games. While these games remain on top of the must-haves, it’s also one of the last straws for frustrated wives.

For some divorce attorneys in Denver, CO, excessive gaming isn’t always the main cause; it can be a symptom. The disconnect between fantasy and family is less than just neglect and more on the subject of game addiction.

Psychologists, however, reason out that women shouldn’t always point the finger at video games. Men turn to video games to de-stress or find fillers to their empty lives. Addicts experience a compulsion that drives them to play every day.

Video games are a way of life for some men and some wives experience difficulty understanding. For a marriage to work, communication is still necessary. It’s never too late for a husband to realize that there’s more to life than World of Warcraft.

Grounds for Divorce in Suffolk County

Divorce Attorney

Divorce AttorneyDivorce is never easy, even when it is widely accepted. It is hard on the spouses, and even harder for the kids, to adjust to being single again. In some cases, it is the best option for everyone concerned. In Suffolk County, there are seven reasons the state considers good reasons for getting a divorce lawyer involved in a marriage.

No-fault

A no-fault divorce means no one is to blame for the breakdown of the marriage. The state has begun to allow no-fault divorce in 2010. Before that, you could not get a divorce even if your marriage has “broken down irretrievably”. This means that you or your spouse can ask the court for a divorce because you have not been getting along well for at least six months. You have to say under oath there is no chance you can make things work.

Fault

On the other hand, a fault-based divorce means either you or your spouse did something that led to the breakup of the marriage. These include:

  • Abandonment of a year or more
  • Physical or mental abuse
  • Imprisonment for three years straight or more within the marriage
  • Infidelity

When you ask for a fault-based divorce, you have to show proof of your claims. If you say your spouse was cheating on you, show pictures or provide other evidence that this is true. The judge will not grant your divorce under these grounds on your say. A fault-based divorce tends to be a bitter battle, and usually requires the services of a Suffolk county divorce lawyer, as DivorceAttorneyinLongIsland.com notes.

Separation

A compromise between no-fault and fault -based divorce is separation-based divorce. You can ask the court for a divorce if you have been separated for at least a year, either court-ordered or as part of a formal separation agreement. Whatever led to the separation in either case is not important as long as you meet all the terms of the court order or separation agreement.

You might think that a no-fault or separation-based divorce is simple and straightforward. Nonetheless, divorce law is complicated even if the process is not. It would be advisable to hire a divorce lawyer to handle all the formalities to make sure everything is kosher.

The Reasons to Mediate Your Divorce

Divorce Mediation Process

Divorce Mediation ProcessDivorce often triggers happy feelings among separating couples who seem excited to be out of the tiring relationship, while others feel bitter and betrayed. Regardless of the reasons underlying a divorce, there is no call to drag the process.

A divorce process that takes a long time does not only drain you emotionally, but can also put your life on hold. According to divorceattorneyinlongisland.com and other Suffolk County divorce attorneys, a mediator can help you and your ex-spouse reach an amicable settlement without taking sides. With high running emotions, divorcing couples need a voice of reason to help settle issues such as the custody of the children, support and maintenance as well as the distribution of property.

Here’s why you should think about going through the mediation process:

It saves time

Unlike a court hearing whose timeframe depends on many factors, you can control how long the process will take. If parties are reasonable and willing, a skilled family lawyer can help you get the process quite fast. Lawyers make skilled negotiators and help all parties reach a win-win situation.

You can save money

Other than the lawyer fees, you will not incur other expense like in court hearing where you have to worry about costly fees. Divorce mediation can save you from additional financial strains.

It is good for your health

Experts agree your health can suffer when you spend too much time in a bad relationship or stressing about the situation. Mediation helps you get through these unnerving moments in your life quickly and lets you get on with your life without any undue pressure.

Opting for a divorce mediation is not only good for your finances, but it is also good for your health. It can help you get through the process with the least amount of pain.

Going through a divorce can be a painful process and many people find it hard to cope. Don’t hesitate to get some help if things get too complicated.

Unhappy in Marriage But Lacking the Courage to Divorce

Unhappy Marriage in Colorado

Unhappy Marriage in  ColoradoOne reason couples choose to stay together in a bad marriage is that they don’t have the courage to end their commitment. Even though they felt trapped in a relationship, they would not pursue divorce unless they could guarantee financial stability.

The reality is, marriage, when it’s going okay, benefits the whole family. When it is not, however, it can be terrible for both parties, even more so if children are involved.  While divorce should be the last course of action for a couple, the idea of staying together despite being miserable should not be tolerated. This is because divorce can be a liberating experience and can make children happier if their parents are happy too.

Putting Off Divorce

Apart from financial concerns, couples also put off divorce because they are hoping that things will improve. Colorado Springs divorce lawyers say some people do not entertain the idea of splitting up because they are scared to be on their own and worried about feeling lonely.

Physical and Emotional Effects

An unhappy marriage, however, can be detrimental to physical and emotional health. According to WebMD, it may raise stress levels and increase the risk of depression or heart disease. Studies say couples that usually argue may also take longer to heal from simple wounds than those in less hostile relationships.

Accepting It’s Over

When life becomes too painful with too many conflicts and scars, it is normal to entertain the idea of divorce. When people harbor deep and long-lasting fear, it could be time to let go. Even without anger, couples may start to lose respect for their relationship and their spouse. If couples feel it is impossible to bring that respect back, this might signal the end of a relationship too.

While divorce is never easy, it may be necessary to regain a sense of freedom. Keep in mind that it is perfectly fine to end a marriage, especially if it’s making a person unhappy and unfulfilled. Consulting a divorce attorney will help them go through the process of addressing issues associated with their relationship.