Divorce is messy, no matter how calmly you and your husband may act during the time it takes for you to separate. There are emotions, memories, properties and money, and many times, children. It’s probably one of the most stressful times any person can ever go through.
The good news is, you’ll probably be fine when the dust settles. For now, however, you need to be ready.
In many cases, a woman is blindsided by her husband, who suddenly tells her one evening after he gets home from work that they need to talk. Sometimes, it’s because he’s found someone new; at other times, he’s realized and is now coming to accept that he is attracted to men. There are also cases in which the man just decides he no longer cares and wants to leave. Whatever the reason, you have to be prepared.
- Collect your financial records and make your own duplicates. Have a friend or family member keep them away from your house. A private storage or a safety deposit box is also a good choice. Do this as quietly as you can, when your husband is not home. Avoid all reasons to start an argument.
- Your belongings can also start a feud, so while early you should take the things that are not too obvious; your expensive jewelry and credit cards, for example.
- Avoid making big purchases at this time, especially if you make more money and did not have your husband sign a prenup.
- Start choosing a lawyer. It may not be wise to use the lawyer you and your husband have. A family law attorney is a good choice. As what Divorce Matters says, “This is no time to go at it alone”. They can hold on to the financial records you’ve copied. If you think a document is important for your case, it probably is. And, of course, you’ll need a lawyer to fight for custody if you have a child or children.
When divorce is inevitable, you owe it to yourself to be prepared. Whatever the reason behind the split, do not let yourself be on the losing end when the smoke clears.